How to avoid conflicts
- Mar 25, 2018
Our whole life, like a canvas, is woven from relationships with other people. On the fact of birth, we find ourselves in a huge world of people and from the first days of life we learn to find a common language with others. Experiences and emotions caused by certain events often contribute to a distorted perception of reality. These distortions are the causes of misunderstanding between people, and as a consequence - the causes of conflict. Therefore, in order to make your life calmer and more harmonious, you need to understand what conflict is and how to avoid it. Perhaps you will not become the most conflict-free person on the planet, but, in any case, you will know for sure how to act in this or that situation.
- Avoiding conflicts at work
- Avoiding conflicts with friends
- Avoiding conflictsWith parents
- How to avoid conflicts with children
- How to avoid conflicts with the ot
What is the conflict
From the many definitions it can be concluded that the conflict is a contradiction of two or more parties that was spoken out loud. The conflict does not arise from scratch, but is built from successive stages, namely:
- the first - the divergence of opinion on this or that occasion,
- the second is a direct statement of its disagreement with the opposite opinion,
- the third is direct confrontation, openfight.
On the one hand, a conflict is an undesirable situation that should be avoided, and in case of occurrence - be eliminated as soon as possible. On the other hand, the conflict situation will allow you to look at the picture from the outside, allows you to hear the opposite point of vision. In order for the conflict not to threaten the rupture of certain relations, one must be able to listen and hear his opponent, perhaps he is really right.
Causes of conflicts
Understanding the causes of conflict can not only help effective behavior in it, but also avoid complications of the situation. Psychologists identify several reasons that contribute to the emergence of conflict.
- Lack of information about the object under discussion, or its non-quality.
- The subjective perception of the situation is the discrepancy between real events and personal attitudes towards them.
- Difficulties in communication - the same words can be perceived and interpreted by different people in different ways.
- Mismatch of the expected and real behavior of the opponent.
- Differences in value systems - differences in interests, behavior and goals.
- Location at various levels of social or job ladder.
- Lack of financial capacity.
- Incompatibility of claims of the parties and lack of ability to satisfy them.
How to avoid conflicts
Often, the participants in the conflict justify themselves that it was not they who started it, that it was all her fault, or he did not listen to anything and started screaming, etc. Thus, they try to protect themselves and do not at all assume that they could have avoided the conflict altogether. If you are not the "instigator" of the conflict, manifest your adult side - do not continue it.
How to avoid conflicts at work
Most of our lives are spent at work, there's communication with employees, and promotion, and much more. Therefore, conflicts in the workplace can arise in several planes - these are conflicts with superiors and conflicts with colleagues at work.
To avoid conflicts with your superiors, you should follow several rules:
- Do not forget that the boss is "always right", and if he is still wrong, do not react too emotionally. The boss makes demands to you as an employee, and you must meet these requirements, of course, if you want to continue working there.
- If the boss yells at you for all because of his bad mood - stay. And if you do not understand what is the reason( if on your part all the duties are fulfilled correctly), go to him and in a calm atmosphere, without raising your voice, find out what your mistake is.
- Do not curry favor with your superiors. Relationships should be strictly professional, otherwise it can lead not only to a conflict with the boss, but also with employees.
- Recognize the right to make a mistake. Both you and your boss are people, but people are mistaken. Do not push the situation with unnecessary fears.
- Do not discuss the conduct of the superior with the employees, even in an informal setting. You never know where and in what perspective the words you said can come up.
As for the conflicts in the team, everything is a bit more complicated here, since in addition to the professional component, personal relationships also come into play. The more the collective, the more opinions, and not only the professional. Therefore, tactics of behavior should be well thought out.
- Smile more often, try to find good in everything. This not only protects against a number of conflicts, but also helps in life.
- If, with your professional point of view, the employee with extensive experience in this matter does not agree, ask him in quiet tones to explain his reason for disagreement. Having ascertained the reason, it will be easier for you to navigate the situation either to recognize the lack of your experience, or to resolve the issue with personal dislike.
- If the conflict has arisen on the basis of personal dislike, try to talk in calm tones and do not clarify the relationship in front of everyone, do it alone.
- If there is a tense atmosphere in the team and you are trying to hook something in order to bring out emotions - do not give in, aggression is not the best adviser.
- Do not take sides, you never know how things can change in a few days, or maybe in a couple of hours.
- Try to maintain working relationships with employees - this is important for effective work.
How to avoid conflicts with friends
We all know very well that there are not many friends and if you are lucky and surrounded by you, then you probably value them for something, Cherish them. Therefore, in order to avoid unnecessary quarrels, one should take into account some psychological advice.
- Do not overreact to minor comments in your address. Before answering, count to 10, and on exhalation consider whether it is worth responding.
- If your friend really wants to quarrel, and you catch this desire from each of his phrases, try to get away from the conflict. Remembering important matters, an urgent call, an unsolved problem, sometimes it is simply vital to keep friendship.
- If it was not possible to avoid and the conflict has already begun - try to agree with the opinion of your friend. Seeing that they agree with him, and no one tries to persuade him, he will simply not be interested in continuing to conflict.
- One of the important helpers in conflict situations is the ability to calmly talk. Sit down with a friend and calmly discuss the problem, look at it from different angles and choose the solution that will suit you both.
- Before taking part in this or that conflict, think that it is more expensive for you - friendship or the opportunity to prove your rightness.
Avoiding conflicts in family relations
The family is the most important thing in our life. It surrounds us from the moment of our birth and accompanies all life. Unfortunately, neither life under one roof, nor distance - can not help to avoid conflicts. Eliminate conflicts from the whole family life is unlikely to work, but to reduce their number, if desired, it is possible.
Avoiding conflicts with parents
- If you feel that you are provoked, wound or out of balance - exhale and calm down. Clearing your mind of the boiling emotions, you will be much better able to understand the complexities of the situation.
- If you complain about your address - listen to them without interrupting the speaker. Control not only your emotions, but also the words that you utter. Anything out of place( or unsuccessfully) the spoken word can be used not in your favor.
- With good judgment of the situation, find out where you are wrong, and where your parents are wrong. Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes.
- Do not raise your voice, let your parents understand that your relationship with them is important to you.
- Do not hide grudge, do not leave inaccuracy, they have the property of destroying the relationship from within. Be frank and honest with yourself and with your parents.
- Take into account the mood and health of not only your own, but also your parents, we are all people and everyone has mood swings. Do not be selfish.
How to avoid conflicts with children
- Every time your child seems to be asking for a conflict - think about why he is doing it. Very often the cause of the conflict is the banal lack of attention from the parents.
- It is very important for children to feel how they are treated. If he asks for something to buy: switch his attention or explain as much as possible why you can not do it. Otherwise, the child will feel an indifferent attitude towards him, which will necessarily lead to another conflict.
- Communicate with your children as often as possible, this will help you to know about their desires, fears, moods. And help to avoid hysterics with a lot of negative emotions.
- Avoid harsh criticism of children. Surely you are also uncomfortable when you are told that you are bad. If your child is in something wrong, by making a comment, explain how to become better.
Avoiding conflicts with the other half
- Respect the second half, its interests, tastes, preferences, etc.
- You love it the way it is, do not try to change it.
- Do not forget that there are two of you in the relationship, do not make those demands that you can not implement yourself.
- Sincerity is one of the most important keys to successful relationships.
- Before you take offense, think about what it really says in you, maybe it's only fatigue from the working day, or maybe it's a famine.
- With the help of a carrot you can get much more than with a whip. More often praise and occasionally remind you of what needs to be done.
- Both you and your second half are people, and people, as you know, are characterized by mood swings. Forgive this to him and to himself. Do not wait for immediate satisfaction of your desires, especially if he is not in the spirit.
- We noticed that a loved one is trying to start a conflict, make it a joke, it does not work out - switch his attention to something pleasant. Kiss or say something affectionate.